I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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