I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize