i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I currently don't understand fingers.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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