She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i think i have two assholes
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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