I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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