Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
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Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize