so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
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I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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