If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize