I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
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Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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