made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize