I accidentally burped into my bong.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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