there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize