Well douche your snatch and let's go!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
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You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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