Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just cut my nipple shaving
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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