Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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