I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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