I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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