Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize