Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize