Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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