The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
The air taste purple.
Randomize