fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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