i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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