There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
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almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
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nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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