i don't like sucking hair
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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