I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize