dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize