There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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