i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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