I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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