Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize