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Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
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