i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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