do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
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I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
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No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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