just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize