she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
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today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
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Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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