I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
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so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
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College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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