i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize