Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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