So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize