So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
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Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
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i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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