Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
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the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
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according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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