Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize