Only a mothe r could love this liver
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize