He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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