I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize