Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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