Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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