If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
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Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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