in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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